COOKIES & HOMEMADE EGGPLANT

 

“Cookies” & homemade “EGGPLANT”

 

The AUDITION KEY:
Now I know your wondering, how is this “pain in the ass” gonna associate, Cookies and Eggplant with Acting? Well here you go:

 
“COOKIES”

 
My wife Ann, besides her other talents has mastered the art of making cookies, How? I taught her, Why? I’m allergic to everything except concrete, so she had to figure out, “How am I going to make this jerk cookies he can eat, she did!
“EGGPLANT”

 
Now, my Mother “God rest her soul,” taught her the recipe to make Italian homemade “Eggplant.” But I have to say Ma and forgive me, Ann’s is better (I would never say or put this in writing if she were still alive, even St. Jude couldn’t get me out of that one).

 

“AUDITION”

 
Ann’s younger sister Eileen’s birthday is coming up in a few days, so she decided to make her a batch of her homemade “Eggplant.” ( you notice how I always highlight “Eggplant,” homemade “Eggplant” to Italians is sacred & must be taken serious or you’ll “sleep with the fishes”).

 
The other morning, Ann was making a list of the ingredients she needed to get and decided she would make it at Eileen’s home, then immediately changed her mind, turned to me and said, “No, I’ll make it here, it won’t be the same, I don’t know my way around her kitchen and I’m not sure if her oven would bake it right…

 
…”BAM” a light went off in my head, “That’s it, that’s “the key to auditioning.” She knows how to make “Eggplant,” but her “energy” would be interrupted in a “different surrounding.” others would be there and the fear of being “Judged” would be present, she would have to do her job under the “influence & handicap” of “Unfamiliarity” and maybe the “atmosphere of criticism.”

 
“ACTING”

 
Like or pets, we act differently with different people, especially those we never met before and also in different surroundings. So it is with Actors on auditions, they are constantly under the handicap of “Unfamiliarity” and the “Poisonous Atmosphere of being judged.”

 
That fear of “Unfamiliarity” manifests into other’s energy changing the actor’s energy and like our cookie & “Eggplant” maker “Talent” when expressing itself, must be “Naked.” And aren’t we all, when “Naked,” more comfortable and safe when alone and in “Familiar Surroundings.”

 
How does the Actor sustain their “Naked Energy” when in “Unfamiliar Surroundings” and in the “presence of strangers,” is the ‘Key to Auditioning.” This the actor has to figure out for themselves, it can’t be taught, even the best teachers will stoop to “Criticism.”

 
Back to “EGGPLANT”

 
But, there is an alternative, (Talent & Skill can always use a little help), I don’t care who you are, what culture, race or religion, I don’t know of anyone who wouldn’t kill for “Italian” homemade “Eggplant,” The Gatekeeper’s of Hollywood included. Gotta give the Italians credit for one thing, “They know the way to someone’s Heart, “The STOMACH.”

 
I know I haven’t solved the “Audition Process,” but I think this is the closest to what anyone else came up with.