“AUDITIONS” like “LIFE” is a “Crap Shoot,” (playing the odds), the one’s who win are the ones who “Understand the Odds” that are against them and those “Odds” kick in the moment you “pick up the dice” (walk in), what you “Planned and Anticipated” begins to crumble, the “Energy” is thick, the atmosphere is “Unfamiliar and Unsafe,” you may as well be “Naked,” that’s the feeling of being “Judged,” if, “What you have, is what they want.” Those are the first “Odds” the Actor has to “Overcome.”



When I was Directing, here’s how I would auditions Actors. When the Actor walked in the room, I, got up and walked over to them, shook their hand and introduced myself, this not only threw them off the game they planned in the car on the way, it relaxed them and most important, it “nipped in the bud” the “Ass Kissing,” I did the ass kissing, it gave me the opportunity to sense their “Oddities,” the things that make them “Real” and unlike the others. For me, it was the Actor that was most important not the Character, the “Character” won’t arrive until the “Right Actor” shows up.

For me, watching Actors audition was like watching “Birth & Death,” “Struggling and Fighting” to “enter” a new world and “Struggling and Fighting to “remain” in the world. That’s the Actor I wanted, the Actor who knew how to “Struggle & Survive” the “Odds.”

The “Perfect Actor” is like a “Perfect Cup,” new, clean, smooth and filled to the brim. The “Right Actor” is the cup that’s “Cracked, Fragile and “Empty. The “Smart Actor” is the Actor who plans the “Glitches” and practices overcoming them, the “Smart Actor” is the Actor who who understands the “Director’s Odds” as well as their own.

“Auditions” are for the Director to see what the Actor’s got, not how “Good” they are, but how “Good” they overcome the “Odds” and what isn’t ‘perfect.” It’s okay to “Fuck Up” on an “Audition,” what’s NOT okay is “Giving Up,” that’s what ‘Stinks” up the Room and that “Odor” is hard to “Overcome” for both Actor and Director.

Learn your lines and don’t ever be afraid to “Purposely Glitch” one, “go off the track, fall off the horse,” but let them see you get “Right Back On.” Good Actors are a dime a dozen, “Smart and Courageous” Actors are “Rare and Refreshing.”



There is not an Audition I go on that I don’t “Fuck Up” a line or two, I know I’m the “Fourth Horse,” the one who needs to feel the wipe hit the “Marrow of My Bone,” before I get it, but that “Pain drives me right back on the saddle. Look for the “Fourth Horse,” that’s the one who is “Imperfect,” and will never let you “Stay down.”